


Incongruity and Cats

by Foodmoon



Series: Of Tea and Glitter Guns and Cats [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied Violence, James Whump, M/M, Mentions of Death and Violence, One-Sided Relationship, Platonic Relationships, Vesper dies, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 14:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13572948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: Q comes home to find the cats' water bowl still inexplicably full.





	Incongruity and Cats

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine.

A month and a half after 007 retires to drive off into a depressing, drizzly English day _(or at least it turned drizzly half an hour later, which should have been a sign, but it’s not like anyone takes English weather as a sign because they’d be convinced the world was doomed permanently if they did),_ Q comes home to his flat. He pauses to look around the kitchen when his cats don’t greet him and raises a brow at the full water dish. A second look reveals the cat food hasn’t been topped up, there’s no ‘forgive me’ gift on the island counter, and no cat treat baggie in the bin. Odd.

He hopes he didn’t accidentally leave the lid open on the loo and that the cats haven’t decided to pick up drinking from it if he did, but the full water dish doesn’t speak well of the probability for that.

With a sigh, he trudges into the bedroom and pauses again.  
  
Because on his bed there is a- Well, it’s Bond. He _knows_ it is Bond. But the only reason he can tell is because the cats are draped over top. He’s so far under the covers that it appears that Q’s bed has acquired a coffin shaped mound. It’s a little unnerving, to tell the truth. His cats’ looks of worry are more unnerving. He makes his way around to his side of the bed and sits down. (And isn’t it ironic that he has a _side_ of the bed, given that the bed and the flat are both entirely his?)

“Well?” he asks heavily, his tone as much sigh as anything.

The covers move a little, just enough to see a patch of blond hair, a sliver of forehead and eyebrow, and two fingers. It’s not a shock. The mound is far too tense for Bond to have been asleep.

“I returned the money. Vesper’s dead.” Bond sounds awful.

“Did you kill her?” Q asks pragmatically.

“No…” Bond’s voice goes hoarse with tears. “She drowned herself. _She-”_

He breaks off, obviously unable to go on for the moment, and Q takes pity on him to ask crisply, “Did you kill the person blackmailing her into it?”

“No.” There’s a moment of silence, then more tensely, Bond asks, “You knew?”

“After you left. She didn’t take cameras into account when schooling her expressions around you. You weren’t in the mood to appreciate interference. It didn’t look like she planned to plant a knife in your back right off, so I let it be. Watching the personal fuck ups of retirees is not my job description.”

Bond grunts.

“If you want toys, you have to get permission from M. For reasons strange and arcane, known only to herself, she has yet to choose another 007.” It’s not so much a hint as a shove, but 00s, current or former, are the most inactivity intolerant people he’s ever run into. And that’s saying something, given he’s met more than one hyperactive 12 yr old child. At least hyperactive children rarely resort to blowing up _buildings_ when overly bored.

There is no reply, but the mound relaxes and the cats relax too. That’s reply enough.

In the morning, he finds cat treats and a Glock (not MI-6 issue) in the fridge, and wonders exactly how out of it Bond was when he came in.

It takes him another week and three days to discover the neatly wrapped alpaca sweater in the freezer.

**Author's Note:**

> As a result, Q is picking bits of wrapping paper off of various frozen food packages for a few months to come. Mostly because he doesn't eat at home much, and even more rarely out of the freezer.  
> The sweater quickly becomes a favorite because it's light weight and warm and very soft. He doesn't wear it to work much, however, because it inspires his minions to try to pet it and he's not a fan of fingers out of nowhere distracting him.
> 
> James, indeed, was extremely out of it. He never realizes that he didn't feed the cats treats, that he left the gun there, or that he stowed the gift in the freezer.
> 
> I know it's rough, no need to tell me.  
> Editing comments and other comments are welcome, but please be gentle.


End file.
